a little time with the golf monster

Alice Cooper, Golf Monster:
A Rock 'n' Roller's Life and 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict

So, I finally bought and read Alice's autobio. Ok, maybe I'm slow. I've had my eye on it for a while, but we're always looking for a deal. So after I got a Borders birthday coupon—and eventually located it in the golf section, as opposed to the music section where we originally found the hardback—I grabbed the paperback about a week ago.

I actually finished today. Nice timing, since we're scheduled to go see him in concert Thursday. But this is also a major feat, since I have this bad habit of reading about a quarter of a book and then start in on something else. I have stacks of fourth and half read books. But I burned through this in just a few sittings. I couldn't put it down.

Even more ironic is the fact that I actually finished the last few chapters on a golf course. I got roped into working a sponsor hole on one of the hottest days of the year at the St. Louis Italian Open for Children's Charities at Norwood Hills Country Club in St. Louis. We had a contest to see who could whack a marshmallow the farthest. (The record at our hole was 136 feet or so.)

One of our contestants, Sam, asked who was reading the Alice book and told me he golfed with Alice a few years ago at an amateur tourney right before the Phoenix Open, with comments like, "He's a really good player," and, "He's a nice guy." Yup, that's what I keep hearing.

So, reading this book did make me think that one day maybe I could actually get off the driving range and onto a course. Maybe. We tried a range again this week and I did about as good as usual, which isn't very. Still, I tell everyone I used to win trophies at mini golf. Not kidding. So if I could actually get it on the green, piece of cake. It's the few hundred yards between that seem to be the problem.

But Alice doesn't stop short in giving out all kinds of good advice on playing the game, on down to his own little clinic at the back. And, as with everything, it makes me a little scared to ever get bit by the Golf Monster. I'm always afraid I'll end up obsessed myself, and with me that can tend to get expensive.

If you're not into the whole golf scene (or not yet, anyway), but really dig rock 'n' roll, you won't be disappointed either. This seems like a pretty well crafted, if not occasionally repetitive, account of Alice's life, including many of the celebrities whose paths he's crossed.

But what really struck me wasn't the celebrity flashbacks or the early rocker lifestyle. That was just an account of day to day life from somebody who happened to live it. More, it was seeing the path he's been on and the fact he's still alive. I knew a lot of the stories, since he tells them all the time, and even wondered about a few that seemed to be missing, but this helped put some of the events in a time perspective.

From the peritonitis caused by a burst appendix at age 11 to the bouts with alcohol and subsequent pancreatitis and other issues, it's a wonder he has an organ left functioning. But as the story goes on, it seems clear the Lord took him through all that and kept Alice alive for a reason. And having just read that big things appear ready to start happening with Solid Rock, I wonder if we're about to see the next part of God's plan take shape.

Overall, this is a fun read, with a lot of drama and truly dangerous situations mixed in. You get a chance to see just how much of Alice's life is reflected in his work, and what's really important to him now.

It amazes me just how many people I run into, even fans at the shows, who have no idea of any of this, especially since he's been so open about it for so long. They know the image they were sold in the past, but just don't know what's going on in the present. If that's you, then you really ought to get your hands on this book and learn something about the Alice you never knew.

And see if you can run from the Golf Monster. It might at least get you out to the creepy glow-in-the-dark Putt Putt.

a little time with the golf monster